Peaceful Porto Santo
When we were considering our summer holidays this year, the house in Spain was our default option. The girls then asked us very politely if we could possibly have a change of scenery. Summer holidays are precious times and becoming ever more so given their ages. They wanted to go somewhere like where we used to - pre Spain, pre renovation jobs and working holidays. Ideally, it would be an all-inclusive sunshine, poolside holiday. No jobs. No roughing it. Just relaxing, swimming, reading, eating and drinking constantly. For seven days.
We haven’t done that in a good many years and at first thought, I wasn’t wholly in. I didn’t want go back to mini-discos and listening to other people’s children fighting. But, we did want quality time together, just the four of us. So into Google went ‘peaceful, sunny and relaxing resorts’, and what returned was Porto Santo, somewhere we’d never heard of. After a little reading, we discovered that it’s a small island just off of Madiera in the Atlantic Ocean. Being only 11km long and 6km wide, with little to do other than totally relax, it looked spot on!
So last weekend, that’s exactly where we headed, and for anyone else who’s looking for a relaxing holiday, here’s a little review of a perfect week of doing nothing…
Resort and accommodation
We stayed at Hotel Pestana, an all-inclusive resort that has rooms in a series of villas surrounding the pool and gardens. We booked two double rooms (the teens had their own) which was perfect for us as a family now. The beds were massive, the shower was powerful and the bath towels large – three big ticks from me. Outside we had a patio area too. It was a comfortable, relaxing space - especially since all the kids’ mess was next door! As we strolled around the resort, I noticed that we could have booked our own standalone villa with private plunge pool if we had wanted. Maybe that’s an idea for next time…
This complex is part of the Pestana hotels and resorts group that has around 100 venues across the world. The group is proud of its sustainability credentials and there was information and facilities across the site to encourage guests to reuse and recycle. Incidentally, I’d also noticed when we landed at the airport (on our diesel-fueled airplane, mind), that Porto Santo calls itself a smart fossil free island. Good work Porto Santo!
Food and drink
One thing is definitely for sure, I ate and drank far more than I needed to last week. And whilst this was consciously part of the holiday plan, this week I’m on detox.
At the main restaurant, we were always lucky enough to get an outside table, which meant never once did I feel like I was eating in a canteen (which can sometimes happen in an all-inclusive resort). The outdoor décor, the lighting, the warm air made it feel spacious, and there was a very attentive waiting service.
Breakfasts were hearty with every choice under the sun! If you wanted full English, continental, fruit, pancakes or all of them and everything in between, you could. The treat each morning though was the big basket of the Portuguese classic, Pastel de Nata.
Lunch could be taken in the main restaurant or at the pool side bar and we tried both (not on the same day, obviously! When I say I ate a lot, I don’t mean two lunches). However, the kids (and I, let’s be honest) were more partial to a plate of lunchtime fries than another trip to the restaurant.
Dinner, more food! And there was a good variety of meat and fish every night, always including a special that was cooked live by the in-situ chef. In an Englishman abroad classic, one evening I did spot a guest asking his wife to dig out a bottle of HP from her handbag that they’d clearly packed with them.
Our seven night stay also entitled us to eat at one of the other restaurants onsite. We chose Koi, a Japanese/Asian restaurant for a special evening. Alternatively, we could have gone for Italian or Mediterranean but it was tasty sushi and noodles all the way for us.
The drink was all good local beers, wines and spirits, and it was plentiful. There was also a great cocktail menu too, made to order in front of you. Perfect to enjoy whilst sat on the balcony of the sea-view bar at golden hour.
Pool and sunbed situation
We are all creatures of habit and we choose the same sunbeds around the pool each day, but we did because we could. There was more than enough for everyone. And while there were a few early morning towels laid out per the stereotype, there wasn’t really any need. Every day we could sit exactly where we wanted even if we had a lie in.
As I sat and devoured book after book, it was delightfully peaceful. Only the odd burst of Justin Timberlake (more to follow on that) and the odd set of brothers with super soakers, drenching their mums (praise be for daughters) interrupted my headspace. I did look around at the parents with newborns and say a quiet word of thanks that I no longer need to be fully-buggy loaded with nappies, snacks and toys galore for every single potential scenario that might unfold. Just a book and a beer for me thanks very much.
Beach
There’s 9km stretch of beautiful white sand and turquoise waters on Porto Santo and we could cut through to it directly from the Pestana resort. There was even a beach bar that the all-inclusive wrist band stretched to. There were some rentable sunbeds, umbrellas and windbreakers available from the hotel, and just a few hundred yards down the beach there was the usual banana inflatable speedboat excursions for kids and big kids to enjoy.
From the beach, the views were lush, so much so that the girls set an alarm one morning to watch the sunrise over the horizon. Dreamy.
Weather
Given the crazy summer, I’d forgotten that there was anything between the scorching heatwaves of Southern Spain and the dark, drizzly cold of England. But there is! There is a perfect micro-climate on Porto Santo where the sun is warm but the almost constant breeze makes it breathable. Clouds rolled in and out through the day, it even rained a handful of times, but just a pitter patter for five minutes and then everything was lovely again. It was always warm, but there were no bugs (lush!), and whilst I don’t think that this was weather related, there were no stray animals either. There’s always a stray cat on a sunny Mediterranean holiday, and honestly, I’m not a fan. Sorry (not sorry) cat lovers.
Entertainment
There was a live entertainment schedule for every night of the week, and whilst this isn’t really my cup of tea, there were plenty who were enjoying it each night. To be totally fair, there was one night when there was a live singer and band who were excellent. But, I could easily have given the circus and the murder mystery skit a miss.
There was a decent sized animation team for the kids offering the usual fun and games. There was an evening mini-disco which brought back all the feels from toddler years gone by with just enough Macarena, Gangnam Style and Baby Shark to be enjoyable from afar. The evening ‘Flashdance’ however that played the same tunes nightly came to be an earworm by the end of the week. And JT’s ‘Can’t stop the feeling’ must have been played at least four times daily. No jokes. It will however, always and forever be the soundtrack of this holiday for us.
Outside of the resort
We walked into the town, Vila Baleira, twice. Both times to buy a pair of Crocs. For any teens who have got money to burn, there is an official Crocs shop in town, and so on we went for our hour long walk as our two wanted to look like every other teen on Porto Santo and beyond.
For those who want a bit of culture, there is a bit of Christopher Columbus history to the island and a decent statue in town. You can also visit his house I believe, but I didn’t. I was too busy buying Crocs. I also can’t talk to the coastal walks or the other activities that there are (although I’m told there’s a good golf course and some island tours that you can do), but that’s not what this trip was about for us. This time, it was all about the downtime. And we maxed out on that. Cheers.
As I look back on our week away, I can honestly say that it was a joy to be able to spend a week doing a holiday like this. Porto Santo is not a party island. It is peaceful and relaxing, and if your teens want to let loose, then it’s not for them. But for us, we lounged, we read, we swam, we played cards, we had fun, we tried new food and drinks and quite simply, had an all-round lovely time.
As the collective rumble of wheely cases started on the final morning, we set off home feeling happy and relaxed. And then just like that, we touched down in the UK back to the rain.
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