The land of smiles

Early Saturday morning I flew out of Bangkok and travelled 500 miles south to Phuket island. This was far from your average weekend. In fact, it was part of a work (yes work!) week away, the adventure of a lifetime, to Thailand – the land of smiles.

It was 37 degrees and 85% humidity when we landed in Bangkok. Hot and sweaty is an understatement. Praise be for air con. Greeted by the smiliest of people, the Thai are incredibly proud of their homeland and they couldn’t do enough to showcase it to us. We were whisked to the Millenium Hilton to enjoy a stunning red sunset from the rooftop bar.

The reason for the trip was to host 100 guests in recognition of their hard work and achievement, and so this week needed to be special. I was worried that we’d peaked too soon with an exclusive party boat down the Chao Praya river on the first evening. We hadn’t.

Logistically, this trip was organized to perfection, but what wasn’t considered was the very short and floaty dress of my co-host (the Notorious T.C.P) on a very breezy boat. Whilst we were trying to cover her modesty, the guests were treated to all of the sights of Bangkok. It was pant flashing on a scale that Bridget Jones would have been proud of.

Naturally, we saw the big sights. We wandered in awe at the beauty of the Grand Palace, and went to admire the sheer scale of the Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho. To move between the two different locations, we had a convoy of police-escorted tuk tuks buzzing through the streets. It was just one of the bespoke elements of this trip that made it so very special. The juxtaposition of the peaceful windchimes in the temples with the incessant horns of the tuk tuks was a vivid experience. If our aim was to give people a moment to remember, this was it.

Interspersed with all the visiting was epic food in beautiful settings. Whilst managing the dietary requirements for 100 people in a spicy country can be let’s say, interesting, some of the group were happily tucking into scorpion on Khao San Road. In a first for me, I was also introduced to Durian, a fruit that smells so bad, a mix between feet and vomit, that it’s not even allowed onto most types of public transport because of its pungent smell. Durian ice cream, anyone?

We moved onto Phuket.

Early alarms meant we were starting to see lots of dark sunglasses from not much sleep. On possibly the best Sunday I’ve ever had in my life (I had to do a quick mental check that I didn’t get married or have either of my children on a Sunday), a flotilla of speedboats took us to James Bond island. With the wind rushing through my ears, sunhats and false eyelashes were disappearing fast as the boat sped through the waves. The early alarm was worth it when we arrived to a tourist free island. We kayaked gently in and out of caves, we lunched on a floating village, and finished the day swimming in turquoise waters off a private beach. If Carlsburg did Sundays...

For all the natural beauty, there’s also the renowned Thailand nightlife. This trip I saw things I can never unsee and have ached from side-splitting laughter. I also ached from the (legit) full body Thai massage that I had. More of a full body work-out, I was walked all over, pummeled and told off many, many times for not relaxing enough. Lady, you relax. Lady, I fix you. In fairness, she absolutely did.

The wrap party was a white night in Kalido beach club. The experiences had built all week, how could the last evening deliver anything better than we’d already had? And yet it did. A still-sea backdrop and pink and purple sunset, as there had been just a touch of rain in the afternoon to give us a divine sky. The food was to die for, cocktails were on tap and there was dancing. So. Much. Dancing. There were tears too. Some from the booze, but mostly from guests so overwhelmed and delighted with the experiences they’d had.

As we headed to the airport to fly home, there was time for one last surprise visit. A walk around Phuket Elephant Sanctuary where you can wander amongst and feed elephants who have been rescued from logging and tourism industries. This place was a very special way to end the most magical of experiences.

The six days that I spent in Thailand will stay with me forever. The colours (it was orchid season), the smells, the sights and sounds. The people I spent it with. There were so many pinch-me moments. The visits to the big sights that all the tourists do were fantastic, but it was the bespoke elements of this experience that did it for me. Thoughtful, considered, priceless. Utter perfection. And the reason I know it was perfection was because the smiles on our guests’ faces matched those of the Thai people. Thailand, you truly are the land of smiles.